The NBA and the sport of basketball exist within a culture that I proudly try to represent. It's rare that a day goes by without me either watching or playing the game in some way. Despite this, a mind like my own is still able to find a number of issues with the thing it loves most and in the immortal words of Frank Costanza on Festivus Day, "I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it."

For those confused, Festivus is a fictional holiday celebrated by the Costanza family on Seinfeld. The concept behind Festivus is to serve as a cynical counter to the joyous nature of Christmas and the holiday season by providing an outlet for people to express their innermost rage and anger upon family and friends.

Today, I'll be doing just that. Please enjoy my increasingly nitpicky annoyances with the greatest sports league on the planet.

1. Swapping Jerseys

Before I start, this grievance isn't an attack on sportsmanship or respect by any means. I'm not advocating for sore losers or over the top theatrics after a loss. However, a healthy competitive edge is good for the league and its players. For example on 1/31/2020, the Grizzlies and the Pelicans faced off in a highly anticipated matchup between the #1 and #2 picks in the draft: Zion Williamson and Ja Morant. Ja's Grizzlies were completely manhandled by the Pelicans in a 139-111 blowout loss in New Orleans. Postgame, Ja and Zion embraced and swapped jerseys for a pre-planned social media photo. I get that the two have a history and are appreciative of each other's game, but I'd like to see some pride on display after a 28 point loss. I acknowledge that this might be an outdated way of viewing things but I'm sticking to it. Losing isn't something to commemorate, especially with your opponent.

2. Charges

My storied beef with the charge has been discussed many times on this blog and outside of it in conversation. Rather than getting myself worked up again and writing another exposition on why the call is so mind-numbingly stupid, I'll quote my own writing from How to Fix the NBA Rulebook a few months back. Notice how many of the same words are used in the excerpt and in this article. Quite lazy if you ask me.

"Let’s be honest, the charge has never amounted to anything good within the sport of basketball. The whole concept of the charge is to empower a defender that gets caught in a tough spot between the basket and the ball handler. Why? Giving the defender that privilege undermines the offense’s success in putting him there. Listen, there are times where the offensive player is unnecessarily aggressive and rough when driving and those instances should absolutely be called. However, 99% of the time a defender (Kyle Lowry) is simply in a disadvantaged spot and is bailed out by this soft rule that weakens more physical players (Giannis). The stupidity of this rule is further exemplified when it rewards individuals who flail their arms and throw their body on the ground. It's an act and everyone knows, it shouldn’t exist." - Simon Pruitt, How to Fix the NBA Rulebook

3. The Coward's Fake

While reading my old article, How to Fix the NBA Rulebook, I found another topic that perfectly applies to today's prompt. "The Coward's Fake" was a term I coined to describe the weakest move a player could make in organized basketball. The thought process behind actually making this move is nowhere near as bad as the fact that modern refs continue to reward such an obviously exploitative action. Here's how I defined the move back in May:

"The following is a perfect example of the cheapest maneuver known to an offensive basketball player.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzDULL__Sq0

The defender, #4, gets taken off the dribble by the ball handler, #30, and is crossed up to end up to the right of #30. Instead of driving to the rim or pulling up for a jumper, #30 opts to fake a shot. #4 falls for the fake and jumps at an angle that never interferes with the hypothetical jumpshot due to his location before the fake. Despite not being touched by #4, #30 leaps forward into him, initiating contact and a foul call...on #4. What? In nearly every other medium, the initiator receives the consequences. If Steve walked by his brother John and John decided to punch him in the face for no reason at all, would Steve get spanked? If you relate this familial analogy to the basketball world, then yes, Steve would be on the receiving end of a wooden spoon, belt, or his parents’ weapon of choice. That is the opposite of fair. It’s a travesty that spits in the face of parity. In Simon Pruitt’s NBA, the Coward’s Fake would result in an offensive foul. Subsequent violations would be handled by a smooth technical foul. There’s no place in my league for that behavior. " - Simon Pruitt, How to Fix the NBA Rulebook

4. Disrespecting Media

I'm not sure who started this trend or even why it's still followed in such a media-driven society, but the constant and unnecessary disrespecting of sports media needs to stop. Media members are perceived to be vultures and untalented by many, even some self-hating analysts like Charles Barkley. I understand the stigma against a clickbait style of reporting but the people who practice that method are a small minority of a large landscape of journalists. Sports and media are a symbiotic relationship that needs to be accepted. Neither can thrive without the other. It's a shame that more people on both sides can't see the bigger picture.

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